A verse to end the moonbeams......


The Benefits of Betrayal


A lioness, proud walks with her brown cub,
Her golden fur shining bright. 
She thinks back to the days gone by,
 and smiles and roars spiritedly.
For though the fair cub let her go,
and though the cheetah forgot that her life had an immense contribution from the lioness,
She realised that God had never let her down and never will,
Because all she was and all she had was a gift of the Lord.
She remembered with delight the time she helped the drake find his duckling and when she nursed the neighbouring territory's cub like her own, when he lay fatally wounded.
The times when she'd let many a musk deer go,
The times she'd faced the elephant with tusks of death;
She stopped listening to the "not-so-wise" owl and took her own decisions and maneuvered her ship to safety.
Her brown cub who'd turned out quite fine was largely attributed to her own efforts, and herself, she had happiness sublime because she'd become one with the sun, the moon, the stars and the trees, and kindness had become second nature to her.
So there she stands, atop the cliff, stronger, sharper, wiser and more independent, enjoying the benefits of betrayal.

THE CRYING LOTUS... (the end)


My mom had a great love of books and both my brother and I enjoyed reading books that she bought for us from time to time. She would take us to the British Council Library, make us read, then ask us to write a short summary of what we had understood. She encouraged all our hobbies: stamp collecting, coin collecting, playing chess and carrom, board games, card games and of course listening to music and watching all the greats of Hollywood and Bollywood. As the depressive state robbed her mind of her talents she started smoking cigarettes and her B.P. shot up while she gained a lot of weight. As we moved to Delhi in May 1988, several OCD's started taking over her systematic routine and more and more responsibility had to be shouldered by me, her primary care-giver, a reversal of roles. By January 1991, we were cut off from the world and losing our hope for her survival when an aunt and uncle arrived from the U.S and told my father to take her to a psychiatrist. He first brought down her extremely high B.P. and then administered electric shock therapy and medication to control the advanced stage of schizophrenia. An amazing doctor, he is still in charge of her health and my father diligently follows his advice. Hope my mother keeps enjoying herself with her grandchildren who love her for her beautiful heart. 

THE CRYING LOTUS Part 3......


We spent a lovely time in Dar es Salaam ('76-'82) as a family and she was the perfect homemaker. Coming back to Mumbai she learnt Batik, bead-work paintings, patchwork and tie and die. But soon she started relapsing and in 1984 she slipped into a deep depressive state marked by loneliness and aggression. 

THE CRYING LOTUS (part 2) .......

My brother's birth in 1972 brought a huge change in my mom's personality. She acquired over the coming years, a number of skills:

-Cooking to perfection

-Hosting parties

-Wonderful interior decoration ideas

-Creative and frugal spending on clothes and other household items

-Crochet

-Macrame plant hangers with sisal

Her two main talents lay in craft ideas (including dried arrangement) and she sang the most melodious Meera Bhajans. One of my earliest memories is learning to draw a peacock from my mom and the female side profile in the form of simple line drawings.   

THE CRYING LOTUS SERIES........


She was born in New Delhi in December 1943, the youngest of a brood of six- the eldest a boy, next a girl then three boys and then my mom. Her father, a brilliant scientist at the Pusa Research Institute, New Delhi passed away when she was 4. She was carted away with the rest to Pakistan (Kamalia) where her mother belonged but partition days had wiped out all traces of the poor lady's family and ancestral home. So they all returned to New Delhi. As she grew older she suffered from PTSD and by the age of 16 started displaying signs of schizophrenia with the auditory and visual hallucinations setting in. Still she managed to learn languages and music and graduated with BA(music hons.) at IP college for women, Delhi. All this without the help of meditation. She got married to my father in May 1968 at the age of 24. I was born to this mismatched couple on August 22nd 1969.